Right Guys vs. Wrong Guys

I've been thinking about this for awhile. The saying nice guys finish last. This is such a true statement to alot of women. I wanna know why do we like the bad guys the wrong guys always win our heart. We walk past those good guys the ones their mothers raised right. They do everything right like take care of their children regardless if they are with the mother or not. They pay child support without being told by "THE MAN". They even take care of other men children like their own, pay their bills and sometimes yours.
 On the other hand those bad guy girls fall and girls fall hard. We could careless if they take care of their children, if they have a job or hustle, if they come and see you let along spend some quality time with you. These men you want them to change and become the good guy, but we know deep inside they will never be a good guy so we settle. WHY?
I say when you're in your 20's its ok to figure out what type of guy goes with your personality. Its ok to figure out what you will tolerate and not. What goals you will have as a single person and a couple. In your 30's you should have those bad guys out of your system and working on getting to know a good guy to settle down with. We women are very confused in what we want in our lives, but as we get older we do know that its not the guys with there pants hanging off there butts. We don't want a guy that doesn't have a career set up and not doing right by his family.

I've had the pleasure of meeting a great guy well great man when I was in my late 20's. He is all that and then some I mean this man is a great great did I say great man? Lol yes he is that guy that had a child, and did right by his child. He paid his mother support every other week without having "THE MAN" in his business and telling him what he was suppose to do like take care of his child. He helped me when I needed help and loved my children as his own. I'm the luckiest woman in the world because he made me his Wife.

WE want that Good Guy so he didn't finish last, he was the turtle not the rabbit. He got there right on time when we needed him.

So ladies as I said before the good guys never finish last.

My Very First

I was 16 when I got my first job it was McDonald's where else can a teen mother work? I was still in High School and working because my daughter needed me. I was a single mother striving to be the best I can be for her and myself. I had to stop hanging with my friends as much as I did because my priorities had to change fast. I loved hanging with my friends we wasn't trouble makers we just hang out and had lots of fun joking and clowning each other. I couldn't do that any longer. What was I thinking I'm a mom, mama, mother at the tender age of 15. It never dawned on me to give my child away or let her grandmother on her daddy side raise her. I'm thinking now did I do the best I could as a child raising her? I did the best a 15 year old could do. This little girl was amazing she taught me everyday to strive and be the best I can be. I no longer got into trouble. I went to school got good grades, and after school I would go to work. At home my daily routine would consist of giving her the time she needed and deserved. I would play with her, feed her, and put her down so I can focus on my homework, etc. I would wake up at night when she cried, and get up at the break of dawn to get ready for school and her daycare.  I never realized that I was on my own doing this mothering thing without her father. He was never there for us never not once did he do right by us. He got me pregnant and didn't step us. I would for him to see what he missed. He missed her first word which was mama, her first step, her first everything. I'm so glad I was there to see these things.

When I saw you I fell in Love

So my days are up and down, but they are more up than down. I have to get myself together because I am raising a baby girl that needs me. I will not be that teen mother that party or let any and everyone take my baby. No I won't . I help raise my nephew so I know alot about babies....well not that much. We are together like milk and cookies. I was so proud of her she started walking at 8 months, and she was off the bottle the shortly after that. I really think she was fast at everything because she knew her mama needed her to be just that. As time would go by so fast I would see her becoming a independent little person. At the age of two she would make herself a sandwich and it would look better than any adult sandwich so cute. I thanks God and my grandmother I didn't do the unthinkable and abort her. I knew in my mind I couldn't deal with you see me you see my baby. I want her to look at me and be proud and I want to see her in the same light. I get back into school and wrap up the 9th grade being a mother. My family is at graduation and so is my baby girl. It was so bitter sweet that day we have on the same outfit looking like I'm the life time barbie and she my little sidekick. We were wearing these poke-a-dot dresses and all my friends thought we were so cute. I on the other hand was thinking wow I have 3 more years to go and then off to college. I thought to much to fast I did get through with high school and tried to do college. I had to give up on college without any type of support system other than my sister I just couldn't do Pre-Law at that time. My first priority was my child and I know that getting into Law and getting a great career would have to wait. I couldn't and wouldn't let anyone become a mother to my child. I know I was young, but I had to show my child things my mother never showed me and if someone else showed her and not me I couldn't handle it. So school became a no really quick. We was seeing each other raising each other, and getting to know each other. My child was my best friend she was my number one girl and no one could take her place. She pushes me on the daily I have a few moments where I can't seem to take it as a teen parent, but I refuse to give up. I refuse to let her see me as a failure. I work hard I graduate from Highschool and she was cheering me on all the way. My baby is three now and she can and will be the best person beside her mama. I am focused I am high on life and I am a mother first.

                                                                                                                

A New Mama?????? Confused

I'm a mama????? I'm a mama????? I'M A MAMA I said that so many times it was unreal. I just gave birth to a baby girl and she was healthy thank God. I'm on my way to recovery and I'm passing by my mother and guess who she is holding? My baby girl. I can't believe she is holding my daughter and she couldn't be there for her own child. I'm mad, upset, and confused. I get to my room and have a little time with my daughter before everyone comes to visit. I call her dad to let him know I had the baby so he comes to visit us. We are trying to get along for my baby's sake. I am so tired but my brain is functioning to fast for me I can't handle all of this. I just realized I have to grow up and fast for this little baby girl I have.

We get home and my life has changed as you know it. I'm waking up in the middle of the night taking care of my baby without any guidance from my mother, and my sister can only do what another teenager do. I've been a mother for 2 weeks and my mother tell me I need to go back to school so I can finish up and graduate. I had to find a baby sitter for my 2 week old baby so I call her dad and let him know I'm going back to school and need a sitter. So his mother's sister offers to keep my baby and I'm happy because its family and she will be safe....WRONG I would pack her bag everyday with pampers, wipes, clothes, etc and she would come home everyday with a empty diaper bag. I notice something different on my baby she's getting a diaper rash and its getting worse by the day. I am so upset I can't understand why she got this rash that's bleeding like crazy when she has more than enough pampers for the time she's gone. I decide to find my own sitter, and take my baby to someone I trust. So with the help from my sister and friend I find a wonderful babysitter. I go to school everyday and come home to take care of my little one. I realized she is amazing she loves me and smiles whenever I see her.

The Birth Date

Now my mother, brother, and older sister knows that I am pregnant. My mom doesn't want me to stay with her so she tells my sister I have to leave. I wasn't staying anywhere no one wanted me so I called my friend at the time, and found me a temporary place to stay. Well I never left my house and my mom didn't speak to me or ask me any questions regarding my pregnancy. I went to school everyday up until I gave birth.
So it was around 11pm and I had to use the restroom. I finish doing my business and I'm off to sleep again its January and I have a month or so to the baby is due....NOT I just laid down and had to go back to the restroom. I sit there for a min and realize that I am peeing in its coming from 2 different areas. I get up and look and I see brown specks in the toilet. I leave the restroom again and this time my mom asks me for the first time is everything ok? I tell her I think my water bag broke. She says go and lay down and we will see if so soon. I go back to sleep and about 2 am I feel contractions. I'm trying to sleep through them, I'm praying Lord why its too early the doctors told me my baby was due late February or early March. Its January 28th. Well my prayers didn't go to far BAM another contraction, and another one, and they are coming back to back. I take them for as long as I could its after 4am in the morning almost 5am. I get up and goes to my sister room and try to wake her up which was a job in itself. I let her know I'm having contractions and its hurting really bad. She tells me to go and wake up my mother, and I did. We gather up somethings and on to the hospital we go. I get into my mothers 2 door car and get into the back seat which I shouldn't have. I'm screaming and screaming and my sister tells me to stop screaming and don't have the baby in the car. I am so happy we get to the hospital and my sister goes and get help. They want me to get out of the car and I can't it was so hard for me to get out, but I finally did. I get in the wheel chair but I can't sit down. I can't sit down I tell the nurse I think I feel the baby's head. The nurse moves me as fast as she can without hurting us, and we go straight to the delivery room so the doctor can check me. Well the head is there and the baby is coming. I get prepped so I can deliver my baby. The nurse asks me do I want my mother to come in and of course I do I'm scared I'm alone, and I'm having a baby. The nurse leaves and returns alone. My mother was still mad and didn't want to come in so the nurse held my hand and helped me deliver. I didn't know the sex until I delivered. I gave birth to a bouncy baby girl, and she weighed in at 7lbs 3 1/2 pounds. She was fully developed and healthy. She was chocolate and beautiful looking just like me.

The BooBoo Hits the Fan

My world has been turned upside down I'm 14 and pregnant, I'm pregnant Lord please no what will I do? How will I be able to take care of a baby when I'm a baby myself? I had to suck all of that up and become an responsible person ASAP. My sister had me make my doctor's appointment for the baby. I go to my doctor's appointment, and wait to see the doctor. So while I'm in the Pediatrician's room I'm thinking how is my baby? What will I have? Will I be a good mother? So many things were running through my brain. She walks in and ask me why am I there? I say I need to have the baby checked out and make sure its ok. Her eyes are as wide as button when I say I'm pregnant. Well I was in the wrong location. I need to be at the OBGYN but how would I know this? If I had a conversation with my mom she could have told me. I'm so scared to tell her because we don't have a relationship like that. I'm afraid I have no one to talk to other than my sister and she's only 2 years older than me. I finally get to the right doctor and everything seems well with my baby its growing well, but I have to take all the test and medicines really quick because I'm almost 7 months and haven't had any prenatal.
I am so glad to find out everything is ok with the little one even though I still think I'm dreaming and would wake up any day now and realize it was all a dream. Well that day never happened and I went on day to day going to school making sure I'm passing all of my classes and being the best daughter I could be helping out at home and staying out of my mother's eyes. I'm not carrying big at all, but I do have a lil bump under my clothes and I can't let her see it. I was so lucky to carry small or I would have been busted months ago.
Every time I get the courage to drop this bomb on my mom she comes home saying someone she knows child is pregnant and her comments about them tells me to stay quiet as long as I can. I know its getting closer and closer to me having this baby, but what will I do? Its the beginning of the new year 1990 and I still haven't told my mother I'm pregnant to be exact 8.5 months pregnant. The mail comes with a reminder for my doctor's appointment so I didn't think anything of it. We always get them in the mail so I leave it on the counter and go by my daily routine.
This was the day my mother found out I was pregnant. She came home saw the reminder and it read appointment for me with the OBGYN. My mother didn't come to me with the information and I'm guessing because she was very disappointed in me. She calls my sister and brother in Texas and let them know what's going on with me.

I got my Results Now What?????

 How could this happen? I'm only 14. What will I do with a baby? How will I tell my mom? What am I going to do? My head was pounding , and my mind was all over the place I got the results I am pregnant. OMG I'm pregnant? The questions I was asking myself after I heard this life changing information. So what did I do? I did nothing, and I mean nothing at all. I went home and did the same thing I did the day before. The next morning I'm thinking I was dreaming and its nothing to really think about. I went to school and told a few friends. I was in the 8th grade in Junior High School and PREGNANT. My decision was to go and see how far along I was and terminate the pregnancy. There was no way I was telling my mother I was pregnant. Are you kidding my she would kill me right then in there. No freaking way. So I didn't. I went on like my life hadn't changed one bit. I was hanging with my friends having a good time not worrying about a baby because I wasn't in no shape to be a mother or take care of a baby. I made my appointment with the clinic to see how far I was, and we went to the clinic to get the paperwork. I took the paperwork home and hide it in between my mattress no one would find it there I thought. I was living with my older sister and mother and no one knew anything. Every morning I got more and more nervous. So I was on my way to terminate my pregnancy really soon. I need to encourage myself. I need to motivate myself. I only had support from my friends because my family had no clue I was walking around pregnant. My mother didn't see a difference in my. So I go to sleep that night after talking myself into doing something terrible, because I knew it was wrong to kill a innocent child, but I was a innocent child to.
My grandmother was deceased and I loved her dearly and that night when I went to sleep I had a remarkable dream about her. My big momma as we called her came in my room and sat at the edge of my bed and told me not to worry that everything would be ok, and I didn't have to terminate my pregnancy. When I woke up I felt a big burden come off my shoulders and decided to not have the abortion and continue with my pregnancy.
I still haven't told my mother or my older sister, and didn't know what to do and how to tell them about the baby, so I didn't. I decided to just let it ride, until my daughter's father decided to tell everyone from his school I was pregnant. My sister had no idea that I was seeing someone and everyone kept asking her was I pregnant and she would always so No my sister's isn't pregnant and she doesn't have a boyfriend. I guess she got tired of the rumor and decided to ask me one day while we were sitting on our front porch. At this time I was about 6 months pregnant. She asked me point blank so Rochelle are you pregnant? Me what "No" why would you ask me that? Her " because everyone keeps asking are you Rochelle's sister that stays on 78th? and she would say yes" why? Oh because she's pregnant. So are you pregnant? Me " I said NO". Oh ok well put that on the bible that you're not pregnant? Me "Um Yes". Now we all know we could never lie on the bible we would lie about every and anything else, but the bible she knew I wasn't going to lie. We had a talk and she promised not to tell our mother, and she didn't. She asked me if I went to the doctor yet I told her no I haven't been back to the doctor after finding out. So she called and made me an appointment to get checked out.